Totaka's Blog

the best invetion of microsoft

totaka — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:26:17 +0000

copy-paste! god! what would I do without it?

Lost blue

totaka — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 08:44:17 +0000

The world was blue and blue is a verygood color. Never enoying, always cold, always near.

Looking around I felt that the entire world is mine. I could do anything, I was capable of anything. When there is no color but blue all around you, you can never be hurt. It does not matter even if you get tired, all you have to do is to have 2 hours sleep and start again.

Years. Or maybe hours. They never passed. When opening the eyes now I found myself back there when every body was too faar away.

I do not remember how to feel feels like.

greates fear of being just human

totaka — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 14:18:31 +0000

to stay all alone with yourself. To share your thoughts only with you an no one to hear. So you will feel no one to prove to anything but your self. What do you do if you know you so very well?

2nd day

totaka — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 06:38:56 +0000

I am discovering humans again. Creepy …

They were more fun while I was asleep or something. Looked kinder while looking at me between the white sheets. I think they thought that I cannot see them so there was no mask.

I am looking at them and I can see me through their eyes. They feel without knowing that I have just opened eyes into the world so they treat me like the most naive person. They forget that I saw their faces without the masks and I know every little secret.

I feel like I am made out of steel and I hate it. I hate the road to make me feel like that as well as I hate the feeling itself.

I would love to believe the masks, it is easier. I cannot anymore though so everything is gray.

Have lost some days or hours

totaka — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 14:12:08 +0000

I just do not know where to find them. Keep looking and nothing. Just woke up this morning and found myself that some years passed by … or some hours …

no idea what happened ….

words written in a hurry.